is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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