It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
