You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
