These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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