I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
