You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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