needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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