So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it hurts more in the daytime
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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