My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
