don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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