real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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