Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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