im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If i come over, it means nothing
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
