I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
