What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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