Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
