i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
