return my video game
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
