Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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