Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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