1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
