Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
