The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
