I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
