There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
