I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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