I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
