yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
