Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
