Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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