Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
