He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
