so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
