turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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