im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
two words: eviction party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
