Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
