You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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