Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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