How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
dude. I can hear the air.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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