you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
handjob tips. give me some.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
