Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
