please come you make the beer taste better
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
