I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
