Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
