Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
