If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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