how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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