Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
