moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
