Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
