I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
